REAL Women believes that each woman is unique. She should choose her own path in life suitable for her and her family. The decision to marry or remain single, to have children or to remain childless are decisions for her to make. Neither a masters degree nor motherhood is for every woman.
There are many different ways to be a woman. But one of the defining attributes of a woman is her nurturing quality. Not all women are called to motherhood, but most are called to express their nurturing quality in many different ways. As part of the human family, women nurture through deep friendships, in their role as sister, aunt, cousin, etc. in their family circles, in their social life and in their contribution to their communities, by giving their own unique stamp to humanity.
Young women today, however, are taught that they must excel in school, get a degree, be a success in their career (and be beautiful as well!). That is, they are taught that the only path to fulfillment is in the workforce. It is not. This cultural pressure ignores the fact that many women don’t want professional careers to find fulfillment.
It is never suggested to them that motherhood can also be a full-time career. The joys and satisfactions of being a mother are never publicly discussed. As a result, it is not until after a woman gives birth that she grasps the deep bonds that tie her with her child and her overwhelming desire to nurture and protect her child. It is an astonishing revelation for most women who have never been encouraged to think that motherhood can also lead to tremendous fulfillment.
Unfortunately, many women are deluged with messages about the necessity of being independent of men and children. Media accounts are always about supposedly happy, single women and the joys of being child-free by not being a wife and mother. The New York Times, on Mother’s Day 2021, showcased women who openly rejected motherhood. A journalist in the same issue contributed an article on women who regretted having children. Female CEO’s are the most frequent role models presented to young women.
In effect, the culture has failed women by grooming them to become cogs in the workplace, as though women are no different from men. Our biological, sexual and emotional differences are ignored. Equality for women should not mean that we have to fit into society on men’s terms, but rather that we should do so on our own terms. Because of the heavy pressures on women, it takes a strong woman today to defy the culture and put love and family at the centre of her life.
Our culture influences women with four flawed lies:
- Marriage plus motherhood is too restrictive.
- Women should never depend on a man.
- Sex is just sex and children should not be the result.
- Material success will define you and fulfill you.
Our culture both strenuously denies that time and biology impose limitations and insists that marriage and family should be delayed until after establishing a career. The truth is there is only a short window of opportunity to find a partner and to have children. It is acknowledged as a practical reality that family life does compete with the workplace. It cannot be otherwise as children need serious attention. Women must make this choice while they have the time and opportunity to do so.
The Most Important Role of All
Mothers occupy the position of the greatest power in the world. The mother-child bond is priceless and affects the political, economic, and social structures of our country. This is because the person who gains the love and allegiance of children is in a position to influence them as no other. No matter what else a woman does in her life, her position as a mother is perhaps the most dynamic and most enduring of all. She develops her children’s characters and their values by teaching them what she herself believes about sex, marriage, gender and family. In fact, motherhood is the most socially productive work in the world and the most rewarding, because molding the character of a human being carries on for generations, long after the mother has passed away.
Motherhood is not a detriment to fulfillment, but rather, is a major factor in enhancing it.